Has anyone else started to notice that the hustle is the new norm? It’s lost its luster. It’s lost its advantage. It has become expected. It has been democratized and commoditized. It used to be that the select few that were strong enough, smart enough, and determined enough to put in the extra hustle-they got an advantage. A reward. It was time well spent for getting an edge up on success. But everybody is doing it now. So, now we are all forced to dig deeper, try harder, be smarter.
In some ways, this is pretty awesome, like we are bringing the best out in one another. But the rewards are fewer now that everyone is doing it. You have to give more simply to stay in the middle of the pack. So even though having everyone out there giving it their all, all of the time, at first feels like something to celebrate, I cannot celebrate it. I resent it wholeheartedly. I think its killing us. I think it is time that we all slow down. It is time to pause.
Really think about this for a second. If we are expecting everyone to push it to the max relentlessly, then we are running everyone down to empty. No one can sustain that. Or rather, the great majority cannot. I certainly couldn’t. It’s not healthy and it is not even desirable when you truly understand the impact of going non-stop. At what point do we get to refuel?
I spent the last several years of my life giving too much of myself to everyone else and not enough to me. I have to admit that I was often aware of the choices that I was making and that I was putting myself, my family, and my friends on the back burner. It seemed like an appropriate temporary cost to a long-term benefit of financial freedom, corporate success, and the right title. The key word being temporary. It wasn’t . There was no end in sight. I wasn’t self-aware enough to keep myself in check.
I’ve learned a lot from this experience. Ultimately, I decided to enter into a temporarily permanent state of rest. And this rest has been so incredible and life-changing. I am calmer. I am at peace with my life. I am energized about the things that I finally have the space to say yes to! I am more focused than ever on my own personal success, which includes work, home, and everything else. I’m ready to dive back in to the hustle, but I’m drawing hard lines about how much of me I’m willing to give and I’m creating intentional space to continue to pause and reenergize.
If you’re in the middle of a stretch of giving it your all every single day; if you’re going above and beyond; if you’ve put your whole heart into whatever it is that you’re doing every day – good job! You should be incredibly proud because what you are doing is not easy. And as Tupac would say, “I ain’t mad at cha.” I’ve done that too. It was rewarding and exciting and fun and for the most part it was worth it. It was also isolating and hard and really, really exhausting.
Your success is remarkable and I know that it is important to you. I sincerely want you to reach whatever you’re working toward. I also want you to be happy. I want to make sure that you’re taking care of yourself. And quite honestly, I and the people around you really miss connecting with you. I want you to take a day, half a day, an hour even if that is all that you can spare. Take more if you can. Take this weekend (it’s the weekend, after all!). Hide your phone in your sock drawer, take off your wearable, and focus on the life around you instead. Take time for yourself. Do something that brings you joy. Rejuvenate. Be still. Listen to the wind. Feel the sunshine. Remember how beautiful nature is and go explore it. Because honestly, your long-term health and success depend on it.
Can I give you an example of why this matters? This sounds so silly, but I wouldn’t have found it funny at all months ago. Today I had to get my license scanned by the school for volunteer purposes so I offered to drive my kids to school. I was also running low on gas. Like, really low. I was legitimately not sure whether or not I could make it to the school and back without stopping. So even though we were we on the edge of being late for school, we stopped. My plan was to pump a few gallons to get me through the day.
When I stopped at the gas station, the machine had a hard time reading my card. I tried about 20 times. Precious minutes were passing. I didn’t have time for this. So I thought “screw it, I’ll do it after the drop off.” We got to school in time which was a small win worth mentioning. And I decided it would be smarter to go get gas and then come back to the school to do the license thing. I hadn’t turned my car off yet and I was afraid that it might not have enough gas to start again if I did.
So I left the school and promptly ran into some road construction where only one lane could pass at a time. Unfortunately, my lane was currently stopped. I sat there, car on and gas guzzling, for seven minutes. SEVEN. I started to think that I really might not make it, but eventually we started moving and I got to the gas station. I pumped 13.8 gallons into my 14 gallon tank. Another small victory! Hooray!
I went back to the school to get my license scanned. I could have done it another day but I had already invested so much into making this happen that I was determined to check this task off of my list. Would you believe that turned me away when I got there? The person responsible for that was not available today. What are the odds?
I cannot even begin to articulate to you how in-freaking-sane this scenario would have made me six months ago. Six months ago when I was so stressed out at work, at home, trying to keep up relationships with friends and family, trying to do good through volunteer work and helping others. I was overstretched and overexerted all of the time. Six months ago this experience would have legitimately ruined my day. Six months ago I was completely unaware that I was running on empty. I had no idea that I had eliminated all things that re-energize me. I had forgotten to pause.
But today, I laughed. I laughed at the irony. I laughed at the wasted stress and felt thankful that I hadn’t stressed more. I was actually rather calm throughout. I smiled at the small ways that I am reminded that my peace is worth the time that it takes to pause. Now my hope for you is that you will take the time that you need as well. Do it now. Keep it part of your normal routine. Don’t lose sight of it’s importance.
Now I have to go try to take two persnickety cats to the vet at the same time. By myself. This should be a pretty good test of my new found peace. Thank God for giving me the opportunity to pause.
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